Better Than Heck Yeah, Man

I go into Publix with duct tape.

You have to. It's the only way to get 3 or 4 full bags of ice taped to yourself. Totally underappreciated - but what can you do. When you're as hot as me, you have to do something to keep the frozen food department from defrosting when I walk by. No lie.

I'll tell you this though. When you walk into the dairy department and can boil eggs in their cartons, there's a little bit of ego building that goes into it.

You're damn right I said it. Right in the carton.

You know what? I bet you would.